The concept of “home” is a complicated and interesting one for me. It seems as tho wherever I am, I am always going “back home” or simply “going back.” It didn’t matter where I was, who I was with, or why I was there. Somewhere beginning at the time I inadvertently migrated from where my family is to a few years ago, home has become this concept that I am always returning to, but I am never actually there.
Part of what makes “there” home is more than family. It’s the friends that I grew up with. These are the friends that I have spent the better part of my life with. I went to school with them, got involved with their families, and sometimes I spent more daytime hours with them than with my own family.
But things change, as it turns out. My two closest friends who live in the city I grew up are leaving… and soon. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for them. These changes in location are a move forward in their respective lives. The first friend, who I happens to be the oldest friend of the two, is partnered and might be leaving with his diplomat partner to travel the world together. I applaud him for his courage, for should he make this decision, this will mean that he leaves his career behind. All in all I think he will be happier elsewhere with a partner than where he currently is at in life, both physically and emotionally.
The other friend’s slowly been taking life into his own hands. The latest manifestation of this is his application to graduate school in Europe. He has been semi-frozen in his job for a while now, and without the possibility of growth, or a desire to remain in that position, he has finally decided to continue his education - in a different field! I admire the fact that he has plans and ideas for where he wants his life to go.
The downside to all this is that they are a huge part of that complex notion of “home” for me, and this might be the last time I get to experience it with them. It goes without saying that they will remain in my life, and I will - hopefully - see them again, but one can’t deny that the circumstances will change. This change is both the sweet and bitter parts of it all. With their departure, the already involved notion of “home” gets even more so. Does this mean that “home” is somehow “less than” now that it is losing two of its biggest players? Does it mean that the concept expands with their travels, fragments, and then follows them on their travels? I don’t know. All I know is that two of my closest and oldest friends are taking steps to move forward in their lives, and that these moves have forced me to (re)evaluate what “home” truly means to me, and realize that it shall forever be an elusive abstraction where I am concerned.